The One
Renee Clare-Kovacs
Kindle Novel
Cacoethes Publishing
$8.99
“Jill couldn’t help falling for Todd. He was handsome, charming, and they had incredible chemistry. But he had a wife. And they had “an arrangement.”
Learning to live in a polyamorous relationship was different for everyone involved. But they adjusted. Enter “The One.”
Witty, romantic, and entirely available to be Jill’s alone, Dean swept Jill off her feet in a way that before would have answered her desires, but now only left her confused. A marriage proposal from Dean brought even more questions. Could Jill learn to be The One?”
* * *
I read this book back in April, when I was looking for a novel on polyamory, or themes more or less revolving around responsible non-monogamy portrayed in a sex-positive light.
My attraction to it was immediate, given the content in the introduction. At the mention of Violet Blue’s podcast, and Minx’s Polyamory Weekly, I knew I was on the right track. I immediately thought: Finally. Here’s a sex-positive novel on a severely stigmatized lifestyle. Just what I’ve been looking for.
I’d essentially assumed, this was a novel written by someone in the lifestyle, though as the novel went on, I kept catching hints here and there of the contrary. Not that it’s of any real importance, but it’s very different when one writes about a topic one is intimately acquainted to through experience, rather than detached intellectual understanding. Either way, I appreciated the author’s effort.
Assumptions and expectations were the thing that in a way, spoiled the book for me. I’d been looking to ‘The Unicorn’ for so long (a fictional novel that dealt with polyamory in a sex-positive light), that when I found something like it, it turned out to be something it was not. That in itself ended up spoiling the way I enjoyed the novel, and unfairly coloring my opinion of it.
* * *
The book begins with our female lead, Jill, experiencing a sudden strike of infatuation for a potential client, who as it turns out, is a married man. She describes it as ‘Love at first sight’, something she’s been skeptical about, but something her girlfriends have experienced first hand.
They have lunch dates and correspond through e-mail until they both feel there could be something more to the relationship. The ‘… but you have wife.” conversation takes place right away, and Todd, the married man, explains polyamory, how it differentiates from polygamy, and how it applies to their relationship. They’ve been doing it for years, or at least his wife has.
Todd’s wife, Tanya, travels constantly, which has allowed her to develop relationships with other men in different states, but Todd, unfortunately hasn’t found anyone to develop a secondary relationship with.
Jill does her research, and the writer spends some time explaining the overall concept and how it works before continuing her relationship with Todd.
Jill meets Tanya, they become best friends. After a New Years celebration with the married couple, Jill is invited to move in with them, which she does. She is easily incorporated into the family dynamic, getting along great with the kids and developing a more intimate friendship with Tanya.
Jill takes a hit for her decision both at work and in her friendships, in a way casting her out from their group due to her ‘awkward’ situation.
We then find out that Tanya is pregnant again, which deeply concerns Jill, and she doesn’t know what it will mean to her relationship with Todd. It turns out that with Jill in the picture, Tanya felt it would be ok to have another child, which triggers some resentment in Jill, given she’s the one who’s been missing out on her own life and investing all her time in a family she only belongs to indirectly.
Jill finds comfort in the friendship she develops with a coffeehouse clerk, Mindy. Tanya, feeling the limitations of being a mother for a newborn again, grows resentful of Jill’s freedom, and her new relationship with Mindy.
Mindy is considerably judgmental of Jill’s situation, but the two get along fine. By this time, Jill is sick and tired of Tanya’s overall immature attitude towards everything, and her childish resentment.
At the newborn’s first birthday, Jill makes acquaintance with Dean, one of the guests. There’s not the ‘love at first sight’ chemistry there was with Todd, but she becomes mildly and passively interested in him, reluctant to pursue, due to her situation with Todd and Tanya.
With everyone else in an established relationship, she decides to give Dean a try.
Dean takes her out, and Tanya is excited for her, though Todd is obviously jealous of the situation. We find out it’s most likely due to the fact that the ‘affair’ is taking place right under his nose, whereas Tanya’s were all in other states.
Jill disenchantment with her current situation is evident in one of her conversations with Dean:
“You know, to be really honest, it was [hard]. I mean, here’s a guy who I changed my life to be with, and he’s having babies with someone else. It’s a different way of thinking and it took me awhile to come to terms with. In the end, I decided that Catie [the newborn] is a part of Todd and Tanya’s relationship.”
Jill eventually starts to get that ‘butterflies in the stomach’ feeling for Dean, and in a way starts to prefer him over Todd (classic NRE symptom), who began to take her for granted the way he took his wife once Jill moved in.
“Todd admitted that it was hard to watch Jill coming and going with someone else. He hadn’t seen that with Tanya; her boyfriends had all been out of state. Jill had his first foray into polyamory, and he supposed he liked her continuing to be monogamous. When that ended, he wasn’t sure how to deal with it. He knew he had no reason to be jealous, but he agreed not to be around when Dean picked her up.”
Todd tries to rekindle his fading relationship with Jill, but he can’t really compete with what she feels for Dean. On Valentine’s he asks her to marry her. Jill insists it’s not just ‘Jill and Dean’ in the relationship, but also Todd and Tanya and the kids. Dean says he’s honestly prefer it if it were just the two of them. He’s very considerate, understanding, and open to the possibility that that might not be possible, but that he’d learn to live with it.
Tanya and Mindy are excited for Jill, but they don’t seem to grasp what marrying Dean implies. Tanya mourns the possibility of the loss, and makes an effort to understand Jill.
“I love you and the kids. I really do. But I’ve never fully been part of everything here… I know what the women of the neighborhood thing. You’re the primary. They will tolerate the idea of many loves, but they won’t tolerate but one love and that’s you. The idea of having my own neighborhood to raise my own family is appealing. Yes, it means that I have to leave this family, which is hard. I love you guys. But, what am I going to do? Move Dean into the basement?”
Jill discusses things with Todd. He’s pretty much backed against a wall, but he leaves the decision up to her though he’d prefer if it nothing changed.
She finally accepts Dean’s proposal agreeing to it being just them two.
“Accepting Dean’s proposal was the first step that had needed to be taken. She was declaring that she deserved more than being a friend with benefits.”
The Wedding’s on and all the preperations for it are being taken care of. Tanya is still miserable over Jill’s upcoming departure, though Mindy tries to comfort her and make her see things in a new light.
“Okay. I’ve known that Todd and I have room for improvement. Maybe I have been letting Jill be the crutch in that. As long as she’s there I don’t have to do all the work in the relationship. It’s been the three of us for so long that I don’t fully know what my life is like…With Jill and Todd, all my needs were fulfilled. I had emotional needs met and well, sexual”
Mindy insists:
“When Jill told me about your relationship, the three of you, I never felt like it gave full potential for either relationship to fully develop. She told me that they were different relationships, and I understand that. You have something with Todd she cannot have. And she has a part of him that you don’t have. But who’s to say you couldn’t have more? That you couldn’t gain a part of what she has with him? Get a babysitter, not your husband’s girlfriend, to go out for a night on the town. That’s what other couples do. Polyamory has clouded the lines here. You and Jill may not be a couple, but you’re sure emotionally committed to each other. But that is what friends are, too. And she’s not going to stop being your friend.”
They both conclude the conversation by making a toast for ‘being The One’.
Wedding preparations progress, and Todd is looking for a replacement for Jill. He starts to hit on Mindy, who is well aware of his intentions and not the least bit interested in going along with them. She still goes out on a date with him, just to tell him off and expose him as the douchebag he is.
It’s finally the wedding, and Todd makes a point not to show off. Everything goes splendidly, and the novel ends with Mindy catching the bouquet.
* * *
Alright. So, my personal feelings really did get in the way of my enjoying the novel, but when do they not? In the end everything is subjective, and while someone might enjoy the novel, I did not.
It started out great, but up to the point where the baby comes into play, then Dean makes his grand entrance, and everyone just fails to apply the most basic rules of polyamory, it just killed it for me.
Polyamory is not for everyone, and it’s certainly very complex. You really need to work hard to make it turn out the way you want to, which is why I always admire people who really do set the example, have their ups and downs but still make it work.
It certainly was not the proper lifestyle for any of the people involved in this book, and that’s fine. Once again, I was looking for a novel where poly did work out, and so when the novel never delivered, I did grow a bit disenchanted.
We’re socially pressured to be monogamous, though out nature dictates otherwise, and that was an obvious thing in the book. I’m not saying monogamy is wrong. I’m saying it’s a choice, and it most certainly is not The One True Way. It’s all a matter of personal preference. The characters in this book simply leaned more towards monogamy. They gave poly a try, but it was simply not for them.
My tiff centered around the concept of ‘The One’ (the fact that you should meet all of your partner’s needs and they should have no need for anyone else), and the sort of ‘cautionary tale’ advice that seeped through the writing. Polyamory is seen as a crutch. As something inherently dysfunctional, and the ideal of ‘The One’ is encouraged.
Blame Dan Savage, blame my cynicism, but to my way of thinking, and this is a very personal opinion, The One does not exist. And it’s unfair to drill it into people’s heads (not that the book did that, this goes far beyond the novel and more into societal expectations) because all that leads to, is setting one’s self for disappointment.
Long story short (not that anything can be short when it comes to me) this novel was one of those “it just wasn’t my kink” instances, which is perfectly valid. Other people might be able to get something more out of it, or appreciate in a way I did not, but as it stands, it just wasn’t my cup of tea.